Lately, I’ve been feeling like just another pumpkin, nothing special, just another one of many sitting in the middle of wherever, not going anywhere, not noticed, not chosen, just blending in, just sitting, like one of all the others in the middle of a big ol’ pumpkin patch.
That’s how I feel. But, as I’ve said in another blog or two, feelings lie. They’re not dependable. Truth doesn’t depend on feelings.
And now I have to go back and reread those posts to remind myself. Better still, I need to go back and reread what God says about me — and you — in His Word, through Scripture.
He thinks each one of us is special. We’re so special that none of us has the same fingerprints. Even our eyes have a type of print and, like the rings on a tree stump, can indicate years, and trauma at an earlier age. And science just keeps revealing how incredibly designed all of creation is…
We have potential in us that could change the world around us for the better, through a kind word, a work of art, a political speech, an invention, a helping hand, a discovery, a generous donation, a billion types of acts of kindness. The domino effect.
That’s what’s in us. We’re imperfect human beings with a perfect God, and when we meet up with our Great Creator — this side of Heaven — anything good is possible. But getting from potential and what’s possible to reality, well… Some days it feels like a ton of concrete blocks, one hundred blocks thick in each direction — and no amount of praying, no amount of effort, no amount of action or declarations or even yelling and fighting back seems to help.
Seems to. I think “seems to” goes along with “feelings.” When negative feelings seem to envelope you like a thick, heavy coat, you don’t seem to have the energy to pray, to fight back, to do what’s necessary to be free from whatever’s toxic in your life. But maybe every single thing you do — prayer, action — wears away that heaviness like a stone is made smooth over time by water.
Or maybe it’s during those times that we just need to rest for a while, and let Him do the fighting for us. Maybe we can’t see what’s going on with our physical eyes. Maybe there’s a battle so fierce in the unseen world that God has us placed, for a certain amount of time, out of harm’s way — or, if we’re already harmed, away for healing. That might be the reason. Or a combination. Maybe, maybe not.
All I know is that God’s promises are all true. And, again, not because of what someone or some book told me, but because I know His heart — and we can all know His heart — and His heart is good. Pretty soon, in our own special season, we’ll each have our day of carving, which may be a bit painful, before we can really see all that He’s been up to in our lives. And maybe then we’ll have more laughter than we’ve ever known. That would be nice…
What seems like endless days of just time going on without us may in fact be the season He’s working the hardest on our behalf. I’d like to experience that fully carved stage, where I can look out with His light, and see His goodness in tangible ways.
I believe that day is coming… For you too… Pretty soon, we’ll all be glowing like little Jack o’lanterns.
So … maybe we should appreciate these days, each one of them, every kind, with whatever feelings come, and just breathe… Breathing in what’s true, releasing what isn’t… Active waiting. In the pumpkin patch of life…