The art of controlling your own magic-carpet ride is not always a good thing…
I think I have more friends that don’t like “My Best Friend’s Wedding,” than those that do. I like it though. It’s got some touching and fun scenes, like this one. Sure, I can pick it apart like any other movie and critique it to death, but I like being carried away for a couple hours to another place, investing in the lives of characters. Some stories are better than others, and I don’t think anyone sets out to make a bad movie, do they? Hmm…
Well, what I do know is that truth is found in fiction, sometimes better than in real life. It’s often difficult to see things for what they are in your own world sometimes, but as you’re watching the characters’ lives, you can see it pretty plainly, usually. And I love the truth that this little scene illustrates: you have to be yourself.
It’s simple. And it’s one of the oldest truths out there. You can’t try to be someone else just because “you” isn’t what they’re attracted to. Maybe it’s something as simple as looks; maybe for whatever reason, they’re just not attracted to your color eyes and hair or body type. And attraction, no matter what anybody else tells you, is important. What one person sees as attractive isn’t attractive to someone else, and that’s okay; there are no set rules. And there’s a risk involved with practically everything in life, so why not potential love too? There are noble risks and foolish ones. A foolish risk is to be someone you’re not, because the real you will always end up surfacing anyway.
Sure, rejection sucks. But each rejection is like a little present that you’ll be glad about later. I have some friends who’ve been pretty down lately, feeling brokenhearted over crushed relationships, even cutoff engagements. I don’t mean to sound cold — I do feel for them — but I wish I could say what I’m thinking (but won’t because they already know it, and because what they’re going through is perfectly fine — everyone deals with endings in their own way).
If it were appropriate, though, I’d tell them to move on. If they asked me, I wouldn’t be as blunt, but the gist would be the same. And for those who have friends who are hoping for more than friendship with someone, maybe even you, tell them to move on also. It’s irritating. Some say, “Take it as a compliment,” but when it stretches on and on, it just becomes downright maddening and stalker-like. Especially when they keep trying to convince you that you’re so right for them because you have so much in common. (Sometimes it’s what you don’t have in common that makes a relationship interesting. It just depends…)
Why hang on to something that’s never going to happen? If the other person isn’t giving you hints that they’re attracted to you, why keep pushing the issue? If you hang on to what isn’t going to happen, you might miss something new right around the corner.
And that goes for some friends of mine who have been hanging on to what they felt God told them years ago about “their future mate.” If what you heard is from God, let go and live your life. Give up the need to try to control someone else’s choice. If you did hear correctly, everything will work out in the right timing, in the right season, without any interference and game-playing from you.
But remember that people have free will, and if they aren’t interested in you, there’s a good chance that what you think you heard probably wasn’t from Him, just your own desires talking. If that’s the case, don’t blame God; just say, “Well, I guess didn’t hear correctly after all,” laugh a little, admit you’re human, and go your way, with Him leading you. One of my friends actually had some girl he hardly knew tell him that God told her that he was going to be her husband! Well, of course, that never happened — and my friend made sure he never saw her again after that.
So if, like these characters discuss, you’re trying to be Jello when you’re actually Crème brûlée, or vice versa, just stop. Own who you are and celebrate the person God designed you to be. Because if you don’t, nobody else ultimately will either — including yourself — and that’s no way to live your life to the fullest.
The “magic” will happen when it’s supposed to. So instead of hanging on to what’s dead or hopeless, trying to breathe life into something that you have no right to control, try hanging on to God; trust Him, and He’ll take you on a journey better than any self-controlled magic-carpet ride ever could.